Showing posts with label job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label job. Show all posts

Monday, March 1, 2010

i vant ta be a celebritayy

"Before you graduate please define success for yourself. If you don't you will get caught up with what success means for the rest of the world."


I keep her words near and dear to my heart…but I’ve never fully listened to them. When touching upon the impending sorrow most college grads feel upon being hung from a helicopter and dropped into an ice cold bucket of real life, I think my soror said it best.
I have recently become rather infatuated with celebrities, one in particular whom I will not name (Kim Kardashian), but only insofar as they are deemed superhuman. Now my most loyal readers already know that I consider myself irresistibly philosophical and given this there would be absolutely no reason why the eminence of seemingly normal people wouldn't be intriguing to me. I find it incredible that all it takes for un-famous people to second guess themselves is to see a celebrity who enjoys attention, accolades, neverending access to the world, and money. I realize that by implying that celebs aren’t the only ones that can be looked up to I am echoing the archaic ideal of teachers and doctors being recognized more (which really means being paid more).

Many may have realized this before but my epiphany is something which I really do pray helps me get over my obsession. We are the reason celebrities are the way they are. If there was no paparazzi, no cameras, no multi-million dollar salaries, no gossip sites/magazines/tabloids, and no envy...celebrities would cease to exist as the fuel to young aspiration that they are now. They are normal human beings in all ways. They get tired, they have bad hair days, they get pimples, they think about how they are getting old and must do something worthwhile. They overwork and underdeliver and sometimes the opposite. Although they seem to float carelessly thru life, they are forced to hide their humanness because somehow we've tagged 'impenetrable' onto the definition of 'celebrity'. If we weren’t in their faces all the time they wouldn’t feel it necessary to be on their A-game all the time. The only reason they are special and we compare ourselves to them is because they make drastically more money than a substantial part of the globe.

Celebrities look/are perfect because of money. If impoverished and middle-class people had enough money, they would look airbrushed all the time too. They would endorse products and lose weight at lightning speed and donate $1 million to Haiti Earthquake Relief. I never really thought of money as an enabler in this way and I know it sounds trite but money is really the only way to substantiate the label of celebrity. Well, duh. The substantiation of the celebrity label also shows in what types of work we think are deserving of mass sums of money. I do thought experiments on the regular (to determine level of possibility) and my current relish comes in the form of picturing how the world would be if we started ignoring celebs...also known as treating them and their human faults as human. Would Hollywood writher up and sink beneath the ocean?

When my soror elaborated her point she went on to say the once out of school you come into contact with a variety of people. She said she met people in their 40s who made less money/year than she did and they were struggling. She met people who hadn't even hit their 20s yet and they made millions a year, they were set for life. But what do we mean when we say "set for life"...you can buy whatever you want? or you can buy whatever you need? Both? Aren’t all people deserving of enough money to buy what they want/need? No, I am not communist.

So, given what my soror so brilliantly relayed to me it's quite unnatural for people to view their success outside of their financial standing and by what age they attain such financial standing. Money buys any and everything if you have enough of it. I don't know that I have a personalized answer for the question of whether money buys happiness. Is success seen as the attainment of a large sum of money in whatever one’s field/passion is? Some might say it’s the amount of change you can inflict with your passion but others might say money is needed in order to fully and freely pursue one’s passion. I have not figured out my definition of success yet.

I find myself wishing I had enough money to just be able to dabble in whatever I wished. I don’t really know what I’m good at or where my passions could lead me. It only makes sense that I would aspire to make as much money as possible as quickly as possible so that I could then use the money to try a whole bunch of shit and see what makes me happy!

Monday, November 16, 2009

the perks of being a wallflower

"so, this is my life. and I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
-- the perks of being a wallflower

Yes, I am still alive. I haven't written in a while. OK, I'll write something that isn't more obvious...

I started my new job...my new government job...the job that is going to take me higher than...yea whatever. It's been good so far and I haven't wanted to judge it too quickly. A sister of mine told me recently that "people hate change, they are programmed to regard it as dangerous." The job does not suck but the change does. I miss my VA peeps and I actually felt more at home being an intern, as odd as that may sound. There is a serious gap in cohorts at my new and current office. I'd have to walk around for a long time in order to find someone my age. Everyone here is a "veteran fed"...they have been here, or in government...forever.

Last week, I had the day off for Veterans' Day and I went home. Upon returning to work the following day, when I walked into my office it felt normal for the first time. I would be lying if I explained it only by saying that "it felt normal". It actually just felt like acceptance. I didn't feel so foreign to my space when I came in. My challenging morning drag transformed from just that into an actual routine where familiarity is actually my new partner in crime. I am now searching for apartments because despite my deepest wishes, I have been considering moving back home to save money. Metaphorically speaking, I can go home and live right at the eye of a hurricane or I can stick it out in DC and eat beans out of can on occasion.

I think everyday of how much my life has changed in just 6 months. I am reminded of the Good Ol' Song and the walks to class I deemed ordinary and meaningless, everyday when I yawn because I am so tired...and I did not have the option to just skip work like I would have skipped class.

I am happy to be on my own and excited to see my life unfold but something is missing. I am sad that my life from 6 months is gone forever and it's something I don't really understand right now. I am going to take it one step at a time and all I want is for it to make sense one day and feel normal the next.



Thursday, September 10, 2009

the rare intern

[recall: August Disability Hiring Fair]

The 'superhero' line I used at the hiring fair exactly one month ago must have worked. The more I think about the job opportunity I was recently offered...my point of success must have occurred at the moment I used that line upon being put on the spot of all spots by the man I then presumed to be jerk, the same man...that is now going to be my boss. My only feeling about him now is confusion because he doesn't laugh when I say something funny. He must be weird because I am funny. I know I'm funny.

It had to be that line...I was competing with applicants who had their Masters. I know that weird kid that proceeded to stare me down had a Masters degree but not only was he weird, he wasn't me...he wasn't rare. I was recently put in charge of the newsletter at my current job/internship and I am actually glad that upon editing my article another co-worker proceeded to delete everything of value including the part where I laid out the specifics of my first experience with the man that is now going to be my boss. Whew...that would have caused problems.

My current supervisor is wonderful although she is a practicing office sideho...God Bless her heart. Because of her I have had the opportunity to handle things in my office that no other intern before me has. Because of her I was granted an internship extension to end in the middle of December whereas originally my last day would have been tomorrow . And now I can say despite the global state of affairs, in just 9 weeks and within 5 months of graduating, I have obtained permanent employment. I should be proud because as my co-worker David said, "It's rare for an intern to find placement so quickly". Right...who would have thought that I, out of approximately 1,400 other applicants, would be the success story?

I would have more readily accepted a position in my current office, I am nervous about leaving. I am excited too. My new job seems great and pays well but it's change. I have taken a risk and beggars can't be choosers, especially in this economy blah blah blah.

My new job will require me to commute to Southeast DC each day instead of beautiful Northwest...across from my lover, Barack Obama. Having eaten lunch in NW every day for the past few months, I got comfortable with the area and it's overflow of decent, above average restaurants...what if my new job isn't near good food? I need good food. What if I don't have a nice office/cube? What if they don't pay for my transit? What if I don't get 2 computers? What if my hours suck? What if I only have a 30 minute lunch break and I can't take an hour? What if no one likes me? OMG, what if gchat is blocked?!

Even as an intern I have received royal treatment from the federal government over the course of my fledgling career. I am spoiled and I don't want to go to another agency, in SE, across the river from Anacostia, that may not be so great. I don't want to but I will because beggars can't be choosers. I don't want to because it may be the best decision I've ever made and I won't know it isn't...until I start working there.

Wish me luck. Woo hoo.