the golden rule

Everyday, in a movement of perceptibly sane humanity, we all employ a set of social norms. We often forget that this set is the machine that ultimately weaves the fabric of our social interactions with others. As I am sure you can recall I am a believer in sociological theory about the human need for other humans. In my quest for self-improvement I have realized lately that one rule, should it be considered a legit social rule, is consistently violated or discounted altogether. We all know the golden rule, it is taught to us at a very young age in an effort to do what else but socialize us. Just in case other people are familiar with saucy or otherwise interesting golden rules that I know nothing about I am speaking about this one: "Treat others as you would like to be treated." OK, I think we would all agree, with the exception of extreme masochists, that we would like to be treated nicely, fairly, sweetly, considerately, with some wining and dining and the occasional massage, no? Bearing that in mind it is still beyond me why it is so difficult for one to get some reciprocity. 

I shared one of my experiences with this with my lover when I came to him one day and said in reference to a friend of a friend, "This girl, she is so mean to me and for absolutely no reason. I have never done anything to her!! I am completely polite & courteous to her so she should be the same to me!!" He replied calmly, "Perhaps she should but she does not have to, she does not have to be anything" which catalyzed the boiling of my blood. I wasn't angry but fascinated by my sudden & late realization that people are not actually bound by a lot of the rules of social interaction. 

We agree for the most part that murder is wrong, parking tickets aren't actually that serious, celebrities should be subject to real people penalties, & that Barney should definitely have done jail time for molesting children. However, what intrigues me is that my lover is absolutely right. No one has to be nice even if you are nice and perfectly respectful of them. No one has to do anything. 

What strikes me is that we seem to be so preoccupied with alienating ourselves from others and not necessarily on purpose. We see a person and "we proceed with caution". We learn to mistrust our fellow man and scrutinize him with the same eyes that we use to grant self-appraisal. We grant humans the same regard we might grant an alien impostor, as though they are here to take from us, to hurt us. I am not saying that it is unfit in some cases to "proceed with caution" as there are people who fully intend to hurt others. However, I argue that we all share at least one thing in common with each other and that is human-ness which seems to be synonymous with "capability and willingness to fuck up". 

You have 2 choices: You can be amiable and take one for the team or...why don't you go home,

lay out two lines of your narcissism,

which is your blow,

draw the shades,

take the phone off the hook,

grab a straw,

and snort!!