Washington DC Disability Hiring Fair

I have not written in awhile. My resume and job vacancies are keeping me busy. I feel "fulled up" with work. It is not overwhelming but now I constantly have something to do.

On Monday, August 10th, I attended a career fair or pardon me, a hiring fair for people with disabilities, in Washington, DC. I was excited to be able to present myself and show off my 1,000 time refurbished resume. The fair was an awesome opportunity to be…extremely uncomfortable.

I am considered disabled by the government’s standards and have benefitted tremendously from this distinction…I am not ungrateful! I have a mild to severe sloping sensori-neural bilateral hearing loss. It is one thing to know of the way you are distinguished but it’s quite another to experience being around all the people that carry the same social label you do.

There were people at this fair that couldn’t walk, couldn’t learn, couldn’t hear, and couldn’t brush their teeth or use deodorant apparently. The fair started at 10am and was scheduled to end at 5pm. I got there around 11am and the line was hellacious. I was one of the few who actually registered online prior to the event and was able to stand in the “Registered” line. I have so much to say about this experience so I will tell it like I walked through it…or at least try to.

I was lucky enough to be in line next to possibly the rudest, most desperate woman I’ve probably ever met (besides perhaps someone close to me whose name I will not mention here). She was 41 years old with a self-proclaimed learning disability and a problem with her left leg. She never obtained neither an associate’s degree nor a bachelor’s degree. She had been working with the government previously (not sure which department/occupation), but had not had a “real” job in almost 2 years. She would ask me questions and then frantically interrupt me and spill out more of her own testimony or more bottomless questions. She wanted to know my position, my disability (because I don’t appear to have one), what I had gone to school for, how I had paid for school, how much money I was currently making, and my blood type. After telling me she was sure I could get a doctorate in Psychology due to my B.A. in Philosophy, we were finally let into the fair by gatekeepers.

The fair was only sponsored by 2 organizations: the United States Department of Transportation (DOT) and the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). There are only so many different offices within one department so the fair was rather small, only including 10 stations, for lack of a better word, which boasted available positions for Engineers, Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) Specialists/Assistants, and Human Resources. I currently work in an EEO office so the odds seemed to be in my favor. For others, the story was different.

Finally away from my “stalker”, I managed to make my way around to 3-4 stations and sit through 2 on-the-spot interviews over the span 4 hours. I observed so much while I waited in line. I was privy to so many private, uncomfortable, and embarrassing moments for others.

I was never familiar with deaf culture until I took an American Sign Language (ASL) class at UVA with a deaf professor who could only communicate via sign language and required an interpreter. I learned a lot specifically about how people with hearing impairments or deafness communicate. There are a few things that make what I’ll call “deaf communication” very distinct from “hearing communication”. Of course people who are deaf or hearing impaired may have been able to hear the spoken word at some point prior to their impairment, but regardless of that they can no longer connect with the spoken word and as a result are impervious to it.

Deaf or hearing impaired people operate under different rules. Normal rules regarding people and their personal space no longer apply. What you might consider pure rudeness is reducible to benevolent candor. Subtlety is completely foreign...imagine that. Volume is not an issue because it can not be self-monitored by someone who can not hear. If you are ever speaking with a deaf person you will also notice that they are intent on receiving every detail about whatever is in you are talking with them about.

While I was waiting in a line of about 30 people, a young deaf man cut the line and practically threw his resume at one recruiter and asked very loudly, “Do you ya’ll have jobs?!!” The only positive thing about that situation is that he was dressed to a T. While in the same line, I noticed 2 profound things. First, as much noticeable effort had been put into making this fair as accessible as possible for people with all different types of disabilities, people with wheelchairs, crutches, walking sticks, and guard dogs were still having an obviously difficult time making their way around. The only people that seemed to flourish despite this burden were those who were fortunate to have aggressive helpers, family members, or counselors with them. Second, the people that were being pulled aside for brief, on-the-spot interviews were people that were notably less disabled. Once I had had my turn at that first table, a young man came up after me and merely told the recruiter that he was there to get a job. All I heard her say was, “You need to be qualified for a job. You can’t just get any job.”

As I walked to my second station, sporting a sign that read “Civil Rights and Diversity”, I noticed that many people were at a lost for how to navigate in such an intimidating setting or in other words were completely unaware of what each station represented until they jumped the line and asked. I spilled my rehearsed spiel again only to hear, “We are only looking for engineers at this time, thanks.” I was clueless as to why their sign had not read something more directive and less misleading. I moved onto the third table where I proceeded to have a normal experience speaking with a female recruiter about a Human Resources office. I had been at the fourth table prior to this and they had referred me to my first table to talk about EEO positions with a hiring manager. They had an EEO position here as well and once I spoke of my current experience I was immediately told to stand at the side and wait to speak with a hiring manager for my second on-the-spot interview of the day. I stood there for about 30 minutes because this hiring manager had told people to come back for brief talks at specific times and I was “behind” them technically. It wasn’t horrible as I only had 2 people in front of me.

The first person to have their interview with the older male recruiter was very clearly intimidated by me. He kept looking at me with big bugged out eyes that seemed to yell, “What are you even doing here…in my space…this is my interview.” I was drinking out of a water cup and apparently set it down on the table too close to his soda bottle and again he hit me with those desperate and hateful eyes as he proceeded to slowly and creepily move his soda bottle slowly away from my cup. I wanted to smile and ask him if there was some sort of problem so perhaps he’d shit himself and run out.

My interview came after the second person ahead of me rolled away some 20 minutes later. My heart was hopeful for him as he was in a wheelchair and had worked very hard to obtain a Masters’ degree. Just as the woman at the original table was telling me to come forward, my stalker found me and proceeded to ask me if I knew of any ways she could get connected and if I would teach her how to attach her resume to an email. She wanted so much information from me and we are two people very much in the same boat. She asked me for my phone number and instead of telling her I truly felt I could not be of any assistance to her, I gave her my email address. I am curious to see if she will even be able to write me. She kept talking to me even at the onset of my interview, so much in fact that woman handling the passing of resumes to the hiring manager told her she needed to go.

My interview only lasted about 15 minutes and the hiring manager tried to make his job sound completely and entirely unattainable to me. Luckily, I am a pro at interviews and talking about why and how I am so great. His last question to me was posed as a statement, “[Tell me] why I would be making a mistake if I hired you?” Very quickly, 2 things popped into my head. First, I thought: “There are so many people in this room that are incapable of thinking on their feet and answering an absurd question like this!” and Secondly, I thought: “When I answer this question, I will go with my first thought because it will be the most genuine one…the most intuitive. My response to his question was: “Sir, I am not a superhero. You would only be making a mistake if you didn’t realize that I am fully human and fully capable of making mistakes.” He paused for about 15 seconds and then told me to send him some writing samples via email. I thanked him and left only to be confronted with a still massive line and loud complaints about having to wait. I was so relieved to be leaving finally.

When I got back to my office I immediately went to grab lunch and call my boyfriend. He usually aids me in sorting out my thoughts and I was intrigued by the fact that I had felt so uncomfortable at this fair.

Looking back, I believe myself to have been uncomfortable (and still uncomfortable now) for the simple reason that “these are supposed to be my people”. These are the people that are “like me”, supposedly. Those that are “fans of box-checking” sections of applications should understand that while disabled people may all be ABLE to check the “DISABLED” box, if you were to put us all together in one room we would hardly be able to relate to one another.

I was uncomfortable because I was not with “my people”. I definitely can not relate to someone who doesn’t have the learning capacity to send an email, someone who doesn’t have the use of their legs, or even someone who primarily uses ASL to communicate. This might explain why I got the “Why are you even here?!” look from some folks. To them I don’t appear disabled and therefore shouldn’t be labeled the same as them let alone infringe on their ability to get a job at a fair designated for the disabled.

A lot of the anger and confusion experienced by disabled people is due to the fact that they feel terribly wronged by society, otherwise known as “fans of box-checking”. Feeling wronged leads some disabled people to overcompensate and learn to emulate people that they deem to be icons of normalcy. It’s about getting people to see that you don’t fit your stereotype; subtlety is ignored because it’s about being noticed.

In my case, I learned how to emulate rather early. I watched, copied, and then employed (the mannerisms I picked up on in my daily life) so as to look and function normally. As a young child this is when I learned to read lips, decipher emotions based on body language, and fit in with others.

Despite my loss being detected at 4 years old, I never needed to utilize ASL. After observing interactions at the hiring fair, I believe ASL to be a truly intimate and beautiful language. I watched a young black man grab someone’s wrist and sign to him with one hand. Even from far away, I could feel the intensity of his frustration and desperation. I feel so fortunate to have gone to a good school where I had access to notetakers for my classes. I am grateful to be considered part of the hearing world. I am happy that I know how to send an email and navigate the interwebs. I am a very lucky girl.

If I were asked about how I would have done things differently at this fair, I’d respond simply: “Training.” Not only do the disabled require training that is going to enable them to tailor their individuality to the adherence of social rules about courtesy and personal space…but recruiters require training that will enable them to understand the different ways that the disabled comprehend & initiate communication.

What about the recruiters at this fair? What about the disabled prospects squirming in a pool of their own desperation and mishap? Is there really any hope of these people attaining any sort of higher level jobs? I have asked myself many times since Monday, can these people be helped? Can they ever help themselves?

DISCLAIMER: Nothing written above is intended to make any sort of statement about hiring preferences, etc. of any Departments or affiliates of the United States Government.

you want me to do what?

I am 22 years old and after many of the earthquaking things I have been through I would have thought that my self as in who I am as in who I function as would be close to where it needs to be.  When I think now that I will probably live to be at least 70 years old, being 22 and having at least half of it figured out is to say the least impossible.  I despise when people refer to the quest of young people as them "thinking they've got it all figured out" but I'll try not to scorch your mind with my views on ageism at this time.  

Within the past year I have confronted a myriad of situations in which the person I function as fails to get me either what I want, what I need, or what I feel I deserve.  As a sidenote I firmly believe that people must learn from other people, they must get feedback from others on a consistent basis.  That is very much a part of the sociological theory that people need people & that people are necessarily social beings.  With this in mind I am sure you can imagine how traumatizing it is when it seems as though the world requires you to be someone that you are not also known as when people tell you you should be anyone but you.  It is traumatizing to me to know that not only do most people misread me terribly but they also feel that I need to be different. I am a very intense, emotional, blunt, and deep person. I am also extremely confident and intelligent.  Apparently all of these things are a rather threatening combination? I have never been the type to withhold how I feel or cower in the face of opposition.

I have been labeled crazy.  Writer I am but I can not give you the words that describe how much I detest the word "crazy". My significant other has told that he loves me for exactly who I am but that maybe people are intimidated because I rarely employ any subtlety. I would have been immediately open to this idea except that my distinction between real and fake got in my way. I deem it exceptionally fake to be angry with someone and act as though you are not. Case in point, I went on a trip with my lover and some of his friends, one of his friends being a close friend of mine whom I look at like he is my brother. His girlfriend came along and to make a long story VERY short, subsequently caused me to miss a bus headed to DC the following day which would have put me at home on time because she didn't tell him the bus time...blah blah blah. 

While sitting (or as I recall) silently fuming in another friend's car in order to determine an alternative route home he came up to the car window and tried to speak to me nonchalantly and in order to avoid telling him what I really thought I just said, "I do not wanna talk to you right now." 

Everyone in the car seemed immediately uncomfortable and this was a time I thought I had done the entirely comfortable & real thing.  I successfully avoided telling him what I thought about 1) his girlfriend, 2) what I thought about him in regards to his girlfriend, & 3) freaking out completely. Perhaps I avoided being outwardly nasty but what escaped me in all my rationale was subtlety. Well damn. 

This girl's mistake cost me amongst several things, a 7 hour bus ride, a $30 cab ride, & questioning from my mother about the "character of my friends". 

Hmm...1 of 2 things can happen...this girl can apologize & pay me back & roll back time & make me unlate or...I can be subtle. 

Decisions decisions.